Choosing not to choose Japanese grammar books

Facing the chilly air, I stopped by a bookstore in the city center after running some errands.

I could immediately smell the warm heaters and diffused aromas.

Although I can have a basic conversation in Japanese with AI, my sentence structures are not quite well grounded, so I checked the Japanese grammar section.

Japanese grammar books that are well structured and quite comprehensive are all big and heavy enough to kill a bug. I am quite certain that I would have a pretty good grasp of Japanese sentence structure by mastering one of these books.

Still, after flipping through millions of books for a while, I came home empty-handed.

Why? Because I know that I don’t have the time and energy to commit to Japanese grammar for now. I know that I don’t want to ‘choose’ to commit to it now.

I watch Japanese TV shows while doing the dishes and practice speaking a few sentences every day, and that’s about it.

I fought my (typical) impulse to start something that I wouldn’t commit to finish. It was a success.

It’s a matter of self-discipline, thinking and choosing, and growing day by day.

2026-01-31 | Essay